More
by Princess Pinky
Summary: After learning the tragic news of Marshall's death, Ricky and Adrian discuss the realities of their relationship.


**A/N:** After last night's AMAZING Radrian scenes, I _had_ to write a fanfic about it. This takes place right after Ricky breaks the news to Adrian about Marshall.

_**More**_

Adrian pressed her chin deep into Ricky's shoulder, relishing in the sincerity of his embrace. The last time he'd hugged her with such an honest passion had been roughly a month earlier, on the night his son had been born. "I can't believe he's gone…" she whispered; all the while her voice choking up. "I wasn't particularly close to him, but he was always so nice to me whenever I went over to see Grace. I just…oh god, _Grace!_" She bolted from his arms and over the kitchen, where she grabbed the cordless phone.

"I tried to call her on the way here," Ricky attempted to explain as his girlfriend rushed to dial her best friend's phone number. "I don't think-"

"She's not answering," Adrian interrupted. She held up the cordless phone and the chipper sound of Grace's answering message could be heard from the speaker. "She must be a wreck! I need to get over there!" Her eyes were already starting to water as she began to search for her keys.

"No." Ricky grabbed her by the hand, surprising her as he entwined their fingers. "You're not driving like this."

"_Ricky-"_

"I'll take you," he insisted. "You're too close to this. They say you shouldn't drive when you're emotional."

Adrian pressed her lips together, at a loss for words. She dropped her chin to her chest and tried to smile, though the thoughts of Grace alone and crying in her room kept her from doing so. "Thank you," she managed, her voice sounding like a fading echo.

"You're welcome." He smiled suddenly and then tugged lightly at her hand. "Come on." He walked her towards the door, never breaking his hold on her hand.

Adrian felt an unpleasant rolling in the pit of her stomach. She discretely slid her index finger into her ear and pinched her earlobe. It was a nervous habit she'd developed the first time she'd had the flu as a child and it always made her feel less nauseous. As Ricky opened the door, she noticed his odd look.

"What are you doing?" he asked, eyeing her hand at her ear.

"Uh…pressure point." She weakly locked the door with her house key. "It's in the ear…it kinda helps you feel better when you think you're going to be sick." She shrugged as they made their way down the hallway, side by side. "It's worked as long as I can remember."

"I didn't know that."

"Yeah…neither did I. I've just always done it, but then I read about it online a couple years back. It made sense." She laughed, attempting to make herself feel better, but as they stepped out into the sunshine, the laugh faded and she only felt worse than before. "That's crap…" her eyes lifted to the sky. "How can the day look so perfect after someone's father is killed? It's like a mockery or something!"

"I don't know about you, but I think I'd feel worse if the day were awful. Mourning is bad enough without everything else sucking too, ya know?" He unlocked the passenger side door and opened it in a gentlemanly fashion, holding it until Adrian climbed inside.

Adrian's fingers rattled like wind chimes in a storm as she tried to pull the seatbelt down and buckle it. As Ricky climbed into the car she responded, "I guess I never thought of it like that…but I don't know if I agree. I guess I kind of think of like when you need to listen to sad music to make yourself feel better when you're upset."

Ricky leaned over and cupped his hand over Adrian's as she struggled to buckle the seatbelt with her quivering hands. He slid it in and it clicked into place, but he kept his hand over hers a minute longer. "I don't consider that _helping_. You're just embracing your pain. Help is when you open up and let people in who truly want to be there for you."

She piled her hands neatly into her lap as she watched him insert his key into the ignition and turn on the car. She was so nervous that she could feel her shivering breaths in her chest. Her mouth opened slightly as she watched Ricky, then she shut it again and stared down at her hands.

"What?"

Adrian looked up. "Huh?"

"You want to say something."

Adrian shook her head from side to side. "No."

"Yeah you do. I know that look. You want to say something to me…but you're afraid I won't like it."

"I was just thinking about what you said…about letting people in when who truly care about you."

"Yeah?"

"Well…when did you let people in?" She felt her cheeks flush and tilted her head so that her long black tresses would fall in front of her face, hiding it from Ricky's view. "Besides John, I mean."

"I let you in, didn't I?"

"What?" Adrian lifted her head and instinctively brushed her fallen hair back. "I mean…I didn't think- When?"

"When I told you about my biological parents." He gave her a quick glance before returning his attention to the road. "I don't tell people about that, for obvious reasons…but I told you. I didn't plan to but-"

"You let me in."

"Yeah." Adrian felt the storm in her stomach quell ever so slightly. "Why?"

For two stop lights, Ricky was silent. When he spoke again, his voice was low and even. "Your voice. And your eyes. There was truth in them. I knew you wanted to be there for me, whatever it was." He gave a nod, without looking at her. "The same way you want to be there for Grace now."

"I never knew…"

"That's an invaluable quality, Adrian. You're blessed to have such a nature."

"You make it sound like few people can truly care for one another."

"I think it's rare. I never saw it anyone before you."

"You've never looked in the mirror?"

"Excuse me?"

"Ricky, you possess the quality you're talking about!"

"Yeah right," he muttered, sounding almost offended at the notion.

"Don't put up that wall!" she snapped. "You know I'm right. Just…just think about John. The kind of love you're talking about, you have it for him."

"That's different."

"How so?"

"He's my son."

"And?"

"And that's the way parents are supposed to feel. But you…you have that love for people."

Adrian drooped her head, once again staring at her piled hands. She wriggled her fingers. "Did you mean it?"

"Mean what?"

"The speech you gave my father last night, did you mean it?"

"You heard that?"

"I was _only_ in the next room, you know." She smiled slightly. "And don't avoid the question."

"I meant it. _Every word._ He doesn't deserve to have a daughter like you."

"Sometimes I think I'm not good enough for him."

"He wasn't there your entire life and you think you're not good enough for him?"

"He's trying, Ricky. I can see that he is, but I like to make it difficult for him and I don't know why."

"He deserves much more than _difficult_."

"Why?"

"Because of the pain he's put you through."

"Do you say that out of shared experience?"

"No!" He took his eyes from the road to look her in the eyes. "I say that because I've _seen_ the pain. _I've been there with you._ You've struggled being without a father. No one should have to endure that."

"I'm surprised you could see that."

"Why?"

"I thought it was just about the sex for you…so why pick up on the details?"

Ricky glided the car under a yellow street light. "You're right…and yet you're wrong."

"Cryptic. Nice. Unfortunately I don't have the keys to decipher that, so you're going to have to spell out what you mean for me."

"You're right that I thought it was just for the sex, but in truth, it wasn't. I kept going back to you because you had something that none of the other girls I've ever been with had: a genuine interest in me. Not for my looks or for how good I was in bed, but because of _me_."

"Wow. Fatherhood really has made you grow up."

"And being with you." He turned the wheel and pulled onto a new street. "I've been thinking about something your father said."

"Which was?"

"To not have sex with you unless I'm really in love with you." Without looking at her he said, "I don't think we should have sex anymore."

Adrian felt her throat close up. _"Wh-what?"_ Her lips suddenly felt numb, like they'd been injected with painkillers from the dentist. "Are you saying-"

"I'm saying that I want more than what we've been doing since we became official. Don't get me wrong, Adrian. I _love_ having sex with you…but I want _more_. And I know that _you_ want more too."

Adrian gripped the armrest, the numbness in her lips subsiding. "M-more?" she stuttered in surprise. Her eyes were starting to tear again, but this time not because of Grace's dad. _"Women want to be loved…and so do you,"_ she remembered. "When did you decide that? That you wanted more with me, I mean."

"After I left, I kept thinking about what I said. I didn't even realize I had the courage to say those things, let alone to your dad, but after I did…I couldn't take them back. And I realized I didn't want to. I care about you and I wanted him to know that. And I guess I care about you more than even I realized. I was going to tell you today, but then I saw the news and…I guess I'm telling you now. Not exactly how I'd planned but-"

She leaned forward and placed her hand on his arm as he was driving. "I want more with you too. I always have. I just didn't know how to tell you either. I was afraid admitting it would push you away."

"And it probably would have, before." They both glanced at the street sign as they pulled onto Grace's street. Ricky gently pressed on the break, slowing his speed down as he came upon Grace's house and pulled the car to a stop on the curb. "I'd like to finish this conversation-"

"But right now Grace needs someone."

Ricky nodded sincerely. "Just like I needed someone." He turned the key and the engine died, then he turned in his seat and gave Adrian the smile that made her feel like she was wrapped in a warm fleece blanket. He kissed her without warning, causing her mind to fade to white, and then he wrapped his arms around her in a truthful hug. "I'll be here when you get back, no matter how long it takes."

"I know you will," she whispered breathlessly. As much as she didn't want to leave him after the revelation they'd just come to, she managed to unlock the passenger door and find her way out. She hung in the seat for a second, just staring at her boyfriend. _My boyfriend! _She thought giddily. _My boyfriend, Ricky Underwood._

The image of Grace's house caught the corner of her eye in the reflection from the passenger side rearview mirror. She shook her head and closed the door. She ran up the walkway onto the porch and rang the doorbell, for once, without needing to look back.


End file.
